Judges

Read the final chapters of the book of Judges in the Bible and tell me how men think about women.

Get involved in prison ministry and find out how many women are in prison as a direct or indirect result of the way men have treated them. Compare it to the number of males incarcerated because of their own deeds.

We live in a fallen, broken world. Hurting people hurt people. The strong take advantage of the weak. People are searching for love and acceptance and will often take whatever measly scraps they are offered, whatever the price.

How do we move away from this when we live in a world where people do "whatever seems right in their own eyes"?

 

Do you accept Jesus?

If you ask someone why it’s important to know Jesus what might they answer?

There are so many reasons but the most important is that what Jesus teaches is true. 

“God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through him.” (John 3:16-17)

“I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to [God] the Father except through me.” (John 14:16)

Jesus knows you. He knows the insecurity inside; the desire to be valued for who you are, not for what you own or what you’ve done or how you’re involved in the lives of others. He knows you. He loves you despite your mistakes and inadequacies, despite all the things you’ve done or used to numb the pain of living. You have nothing to prove to him. He wants to be by your side through life, helping you become the person he knows you could be. He wants to be able to spend eternity with you so much that he died to make it possible.

Will you admit you can't get it right by yourself? 

Will you accept his invitation?

Do you know Jesus?

Do you know Jesus?

How would you respond if someone asked you that?

Would you feel affronted? - It's none of your business. My faith is a private matter and nothing to do with you or anyone else.

Would you feel panicky? - I know I have to have some opinion about Jesus but I haven't worked out what that is yet. I wish you'd just leave me alone.

Would you doubt the relevance of the question? - Didn't Jesus, an obscure Israelite, die two thousand years ago after making some claims to be God which no intelligent modern-thinking person gives any time to? What does it matter whether I "know" him or not?

Or do you reply, "Of course I do. He's my Lord and Saviour; the one who makes sense of the world, who helps me become the person I was designed to be, who can rescue me from all that enslaves me, who loves me despite my mistakes and will see me safely home when I die."

"Do you know Jesus?" is one of the most important questions that every human being will face. The other is, "Have you accepted Jesus as your own Lord and Saviour? Do you acknowledge him as Son of God and the only one who can clear your way to a right relationship with God?"

In today's world we try to push the questions aside, sweep them under the carpet as irrelevences or impertinences - it's part of the lies we've been told and unfortunately, the behaviour of many of those who claim to follow Jesus has done nothing to attract others to his way.

Faith in Jesus is a very personal thing. Every single soul will have to answer the question for him or herself. It doesn't matter a jot if your parents, siblings or children have a strong faith: when you stand before God after death he will be asking you about your choices. Your relatives will face their own question - God has no grandchildren or cousins; he only has sons and daughters.

Faith in Jesus is not a private thing. Following his way should have an impact on every part of your life - thoughts, attitudes, speech and actions. The way you live should make it obvious that you unashamedly follow Jesus' way and not the world's. You should be different: not in a "holier than thou" way but in the same way that a stranger is different, living in the world but not being of it, an ambassador for a different kingdom, not a native.

When someone askes you whether you know Jesus, don't see it as a desire to convert you to gain numbers and kudos. Don't see it as an impertinence. See it as genuine concern that you will seriously consider your position regarding him while you are still breathing; while you still have time. 

God doesn't force himself upon us. He invites; he provides opportunities; he wants to shower us with good things but it is up to us whether we accept his offers or not. Once we die he respects our decision about Jesus. Live following him in this world and the next will be a glorious restoration of earth as it was before mankind's rebellion broke everything. Live rejecting Jesus and that is the decision that will be honoured after you die. The place of torment and deolation, the place far from any of the good things God has created, is a dreadful prospect, yet it is not inevitable. 

If someone askes you, "Have you accepted Jesus?" and you can't answer yes, ask them why it's such an important question and, for the love of God, listen to the answer.

Ten years

Ten years ago, on August 2nd 2012, we left the UK with our children (aged 13 and 11) to go to Nigeria and start a life serving God overseas.

 

There have been plenty of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, fun and danger and a lot of hard work, but throughout it all God has been faithful. (Our Nigeria blog www.jacksonsinjos.blogspot.com is still available to read online.)

 

He's given us many loyal and encouraging supporters who have sustained us by prayer and by helping to supply what we've needed materially. We've had all that's been necessary financially and in terms of people generously giving us hospitality and a place to stay when we've returned to the UK. Living by faith does mean we can't rely on a particular salary each month but we know that the Lord has promised to provide all we need when we need it, and he does. There is no more reliable source.

We've seen the hand of the Lord touch many lives in Nigeria, the UK and currently South Africa. We've learned a lot about Jesus, about other people and about ourselves. We've been given so many experiences and met so many expressions of God's family that we would never otherwise have encountered. We've seen how Jesus asks a lot but gives so much more and never forces compliance - it's always by invitation. We're awestruck and grateful to have the opportunity to be part of his work. To God be all the praise and glory.

When anyone asks, "How long will you stay overseas?" our reply is always, "Until God moves us on." To borrow a phrase, we serve at the pleasure of the King of kings.

 

May we always be alert to his leading in all aspects of life, obedient, and expecting him to do the unexpected and marvellous - never taking him for granted, never saying "I can't" but always being willing to offer the little we have in his service.

 

A couple of weeks ago I listened to a sermon that touched on Jesus' parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30). The preacher spoke about a man who had agreed to help in a prison ministry programme but only in a background role. He offered the talents he had in driving, serving food and washing up, saying he was too shy to be involved in any frontline way. A few years later those talents had been multiplied so that now he's mentoring prisoners and speaking to the group as a whole in a way that reaches their hearts. The Lord can do amazing things with the little we can offer and can develop us in ways we cannot imagine.

 

To anyone who's wondering if it's worth it to step out in faith and follow God's leading into the unknown, it is. This doesn't always mean leaving home and country. It could be changing job, changing attitude, surrendering yourself, doing something small. There could well be tears and you might feel you're on a bit of a rollercoaster but through it all is the opportunity to have life in its fulness. Don't refuse the invitation.

A bar of chocolate

 

I spent the whole of last week in Allandale Correctional Centre in Paarl and it was wonderful. It was my first Restorative Justice (RJ) course of 2022, the first one inside since 2019. So much happened, the understanding of so many incarcerated men was expanded, outlooks were changed and the lives of many started tentatively along a different path.

We expect God to do great things but we don’t take it for granted: the Lord is always more ready to help us than we are to receive. One of the participants this week had previously completed an RJ, been released but then reoffended. He was asked what happened and why he’d wanted to go through RJ again. He admitted that the first time all that was said had gone in one ear and out of the other, he’d still been lying to himself and others. This time he was listening and on the Family Reconciliation Day later that week he told his family that he wasn’t going to look for parole but would serve out his sentence, staying incarcerated so that he could learn more.

 The RJ team from Hope Prison Ministry spend 30 hours from Monday to Friday helping the men face up to themselves, what they did and how they can change their lives to become the men they have the potential to be.

 The criminal mindset is particularly self-centred; the human mind in general is prone to make up its own narrative and believe it. RJ participants are encouraged to face the truth, especially about the harm their actions cause to victims. So many men say, “I never thought so many people were affected by my crime. I never thought victims were hurt so much and for so long.” As few are actually hardened psychopaths, this realisation hits them hard and that’s one of the things we want to do – change thinking patterns in a way that’s respectful yet challenging. There is no wriggle room, no excuses. It wasn’t the alcohol or the drugs that caused the rape or murder, it was selfishness, desire for power, greed – call a spade a spade and there’s more hope for change.

The week culminated in the Family Reconciliation Day on Saturday. It’s restorative justice, not punitive, and the first stage of restoration is the family relationship. Each man is encouraged to invite three family members or close friends who have been affected by his criminal behaviour. They are then given the opportunity to confront him openly with questions and how his behaviour made them feel. All of the men are pretty nervous about this but when the time comes, all of them answer honestly.

What comes across most strongly is not condemnation. There is anger and hurt and sorrow but overwhelmingly there is love. Grandmothers left to bring up the children and support the incarcerated man with their meagre pension; wives who have to be mother and father to children, often with very little income; parents who wonder what they did wrong; sons and daughters who cry out why did you leave me? – all express their love, their desire that the man turn around and change, the welcome that’ll be awaiting him when he comes home. It shakes the men up.

As do the most common questions: Are you guilty? What did you do? How long is your sentence?

One of the lessons we do during the week (on Wednesday) is about four core values to live by: Trust, Respect, Integrity, Honesty. As part of this, four men who feel they’re not trusted are asked to go to the front. There they are entrusted with a bar of chocolate, signed by the main facilitator, and asked to keep it to be returned on Saturday.

 A bar of Cadbury’s chocolate in prison is a rare and valuable item. There’s a lot of pressure to sell or eat it. Two of the men were so conscious of this and so lacking in trust of themselves that they pleaded to be allowed to give the chocolate back straightaway. They were told to keep it.

 I was mentor/facilitator to five men around my table last week, from three different correctional centres, different backgrounds, different crimes. They gelled amazingly quickly; we became a family. One of the men who’d been desperate to give back the chocolate came from our table. It was so encouraging to see how the other men supported him and promised to help him resist the temptation to eat it. As one said, “It’s the table’s chocolate, we will help you.”

 I hadn’t experienced this in any previous RJs so I wanted to show appreciation for what they were doing by buying each man a chocolate bar to be given when the trust was fulfilled. Quite rightly, Jonathan Clayton, lead facilitator and Hope Prison Ministry co-founder, said that, for men who had already experienced much unfairness in life, singling out one table wasn’t ideal in an RJ process so, with the help of supporters in Scotland, I went out and bought 35 bars of chocolate. Another lesson – the trustworthiness of one man, supported by good friends, can benefit the community at large.

On Saturday all four original bars of chocolate were returned intact, despite pressure from some other participants to “share the chocolate with me and you’ll be as wise as Pastor Clayton”!

Being trusted with little is the first step to being trusted with larger things. Faces lit up as the unexpected gift of chocolate for everyone was distributed just before the heavy business of facing the loved ones with honesty.

What happened next brought tears to my eyes. Chocolate is like gold inside prison, and a rare treat to families with little outside. After seeing the pain they’d caused their loved ones and realising the fault lay with their lifestyles, choices and bad behaviour, many of the men gave their bar of chocolate to their wife, mother or daughter – a token of love and remorse in earnest of the desire to change. A small gesture but huge.

Sometimes a bar of chocolate is so much more. 

Living as a follower of Jesus

Deciding to follow Jesus is a universe-shaking move. It changes the course of eternity. It changes your life, both in this world and the next. It should change the lives of those who come into contact with you as the Holy Spirit renews your mind and creates a new heart within you; as Jesus increases in you and his love and compassion shine through to affect the way you interact with the rest of the world. 

Sadly, our nearest and dearest don’t always see any change. Yes, your eternal destiny is with God as soon as you commit yourself to Jesus as your Lord and Saviour but the way you live your life is sometimes pretty much the same as before. 

It would be so much easier if people were made perfect as soon as they started to follow Jesus. However, you just have to look at any Christian you know (or at yourself) to realise that this doesn’t happen. We have a lifetime of learning and following Jesus ahead of us and sometimes it feels as if one temptation or bad habit is only just conquered for another to rear its ugly head.

“He must increase but I must decrease,” said John the Baptist (John 3:30). As followers of Jesus, that should be our aim too. Our old, sinful, selfish, rebellious selves must decrease until what people see in us, our lives and attitudes, is a clear reflection of Jesus. 

 Nobody achieves perfection this side of heaven but with God’s help we can get closer until one day we look back at the people we used to be and can’t recognise ourselves.

That’s easier said than done, especially as many congregations concentrate less on discipling individuals to be like Jesus in all aspects of life and more on numbers, money or a superficial image.

Jesus calls us deeper.

It doesn’t matter what you look like, what clothes you wear, what education you’ve had or job you do. It doesn't even matter if you can sing in tune. He wants you. Yourself.

He’ll gladly accept the person you are and transform you, if you allow him, into the person you were born to be.

How many of us feel that we’re not who we were meant to be?

We get by. We might even be successful, at the top of our field, renowned or earning lots of money. We could be dissatisfied, thinking, “I could do much more than this” but we don’t know how to bridge the gap between how we want others to see us, the person we know we are and who we suspect we’re meant to be.

God knows who and what each of us is meant to be.

We fill the gap with things that decay – money, power, food, lust, drugs, busyness – anything that anaesthetises and stops us having to think. Yet, at those times in the night when our minds are free, we know that we’re hiding from the big questions.

Who am I?

Why am I where I am?

How do I make my life worthwhile?

What happens after death?

Even if you don’t think about these things now, at some point these questions are going to crash into your consciousness, hopefully before it’s too late for your answers to make a difference.

Jesus is the answer to the big questions of life.

He won’t force you to acknowledge that, but every living soul should be aware that their answer to the questions, “Who is Jesus? Who am I?” will determine what happens to them after death and how they live.

 Jesus stands at the door and knocks. He doesn’t break it down. He will respect the decision you make during your life as to whether he is Lord or not, but it’s a decision that everyone has to make and it has life-changing consequences.

How can you tell if someone has acknowledged Jesus as Lord? How should your life be lived under his Lordship. It means nothing to say that you belong to someone as Lord but then continue to live your life in exactly the same way as before, taking no notice of anything your “Lord” says. Perhaps you’re honestly considering your response to Jesus’ question, “Who do you say I am?” (Matthew 16:15) and you want to know something of the cost before you commit to him. Jesus does turn things upside down. He “answers our questions, but also questions our answers” (Rowan Williams). He takes us out of our “natural” responses of self-preservation, anger, selfishness and fear and enables us to live life to the full (John 10:10).  Following him can be a bit like riding a rollercoaster – exhilarating, scary, exciting, sometimes calm – but, despite the best efforts of some people to make Christianity tedious, the real Jesus is never boring – all you have to do is to accept his invitation to “Come” to find out.

Not needed but wanted

 I read a blog post today about how God doesn't need us. 

He doesn't need our help to fulfil his plans, in fact his work would unfold much more smoothly and efficiently without our efforts. Think of the times you've said or done things that are hurtful, destructive or just incompetent (or not said what you know you should have). Think of the times you haven't done (or tried and made a mess of) what you know God's prompting you towards; the loving deed, brave act, important task. Think of the times God's stepped in to work things out despite your contributions, but has a lot more healing to do because of them.

God doesn't need us to save the world, that's definitely something only Jesus could do, but God does want us to be part of his work in it.

We're like the small child who helps mummy or daddy and is convinced his/her contribution to washing the car or making the cake is vital, when mummy or daddy would complete the task faster and more smoothly without that help. 

Life isn't about tasks. Life is about relationships. Relationships with God and with each other.

From the beginning God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) was in joyful relationship and humans were created to share that joy.

Parents don't let small children get involved with tasks because their help is needed. They involve them for the joy of strengthening the relationship, getting to know each other better, teaching and seeing the child grow in skill and confidence. Not efficient but loving. 

Not needed but wanted. 

Holding the rope

 Often God brings to your attention the right things at the right time; it's one of his caring characteristics.

Recently I came across a quote from William Carey (the missionary to India) which is speaking to me clearly during my time in the UK. He was hearing God's call to overseas work and said to his friend, "I will go, if you will hold the rope." 

You can imagine the person at one end of the rope climbing a mountain, exploring a cave, swimming far out to sea or being lowered into a deep well. It's possible to do any of these things alone but far more likely to end in disaster. The person heading into the unknown may be taking the obvious risks, making the sacrifices, living dangerously or excitingly, but the ones holding the rope have also accepted a huge responsibility. Their lives have been altered too. They have committed to care and support the other. If they let go there will be consequences.

The analogy shouldn't be taken too far. When God calls he doesn't send you out alone or with only human company. He is always there to guide and support but he chooses to have us work together, learning and growing with others. There are many different, though equally important roles, people at both ends of the rope, both being obedient to the task the Lord has given them, neither taking the responsibility lightly.

Thank you to everyone who has kept hold of our rope in the close to ten years since we followed God's call overseas. Glory to him who ultimately has kept us attached.