Inheritance

When we think of inheritance we often think of material things - houses, money, jewellery, furniture.  I had an encounter today which brought home the intangible aspects of what we might inherit.

The speaker was a young Christian South African woman. Her heritage is Xhosa, though she had been sent to boarding school at four years old and brought up speaking more English and Afrikaans than her mother tongue. She'd spent time as an au pair in the USA and for a while was successful in business in Cape Town. Through circumstances not entirely her own fault (think male abuse and exploitation, physical, emotional, mental and negligent) she is now living in a "black township", bringing up her two year old daughter as a single parent, following Jesus and serving his church as best she can, once again battling exploitation and rejection.

She spoke about how much hostility she experienced from her neighbours for wanting to bring up her daughter differently. They live in the darkness of ignorance and don't want to have anyone showing it's possible to choose a different way to live. It wears her down but she's determined to continue to show Jesus' light in the darkness of her surroundings.

It is customary in Xhosa society to discipline a child by beating it. That's the way things are done.

If this woman speaks to her daughter in English (the language in which she feels most comfortable), her neighbours pour scorn upon her. If she reads to the child or engages with her there is a chorus of mocking disdain. They don't want to see anyone doing anything different.

If the child is naughty and her mother speaks to her in English, she chastises and disciplines in a "Western" way - no beatings but non-violent consequences.

If the mother speaks to the child in Xhosa she notices her language is far harsher and soon words turn into a hiding (in her case this means a smack on the hand, though for others the "hiding" is closer to a severe beating). That's how it's done; that's the inheritance; that is what the neighbours expect and welcome as it doesn't force them to consider their own actions.