A good example

If you're involved in prison ministry you expect to be disappointed. One of the verses in the Bible which I think is very applicable is the exhortation to be as "shrewd as snakes and as harmless as doves" (Matthew 10:16). We work, we hope, we pray, we show love but we're not naive; we go in with our eyes open to the challenges but we keep trying. It's especially hard when a Bible study regular is released only to be taken back to prison after a couple of months. The temptations and difficulties of the outside world prove too much.

That's why it was such a pleasure to visit Edward at Beth Uriel house in Cape Town this week. I've mentioned him before as a man once sentenced to life in prison but who's now humbly living for God and is now acting as an "uncle" to the young men at Beth Uriel, providing wise advice as one who's acknowledged his mistakes and wants to help them build better lives.

In his quiet way he's making a difference, not least in the healthy crop of vegetables growing on what was waste ground at the back of the car park (could be a metaphor there). However, it's not just in the lives of vulnerable young men that he's having an impact. 

Last month he was summoned to the parole office unexpectedly. That was worrying, what had he done wrong? When he arrived he found a whole roomful of parole officers waiting for him. It was two years since he'd been released and they wanted to celebrate him. Instead of trouble there was a chocolate cake; instead of accusations there were questions about how he'd managed to make a success of his life when so many others had failed.

Edward had no family to go out to, though now he has over two dozen "children" at Beth Uriel. He lacked a lot of support, he only had God to rely on. Only. He told the parole officers that was the vital ingredient - wait upon God, do things his way in his time. If you pray to have a role in preventing others making the same mistakes you did then recognise when that prayer is answered and don't go chasing after salaried work instead. If you ask God for a place to live and employment then appreciate what he provides, look at all you have and not at what you don't.

Edward's current house

Edward told me that he would like to work for a wage (at the moment he gets board and lodging) but more important is to be where God wants him to be, making a difference. He'd like to redevelop a wooden hut next to the one he currently lives in, freeing that for others and giving himself more room. He's praying for the resources to do that.

Perhaps this life isn't what most long-termers dream of whilst awaiting release but it's by far the most secure for Edward. When a person has nothing but God they actually have everything.

Wiping the slate clean

What happens when you wipe the slate clean?

For a start there's lots of chalk dust which you can be covered with or avoid.

Then all the past writings and mistakes are wiped away for ever. Not like a computer's delete where nothing is ever really obliterated and if you know what to do you can recover what's lost (often). When a slate or blackboard is wiped clean there is no return - it's gone. 

God says, "I'll forever wipe the slate clean of their sins" (Hebrews 10:17). 

Believe him: turn to him, admit the wrong you've done, leave it behind and don't keep trying to remember what he's chosen to forget.

Don't let the chalk dust keep sticking to you either.

 

Neutral or Abdicated?

We can be committed to Jesus but still have so much of our old selves to get rid of. The hold our pre-Christian life and attitudes has on us doesn't disappear overnight; we need to be aware.

I used to work in ministry with a man from a gangster background. I work with many people like that and many have truly committed themselves to Jesus and are trying to co-operate with him in changing their lives. This man was the same. 

However, as I worked more closely with him, little things showed that his old life still had a hold on him. The way that he took illegal shortcuts when driving, the things he said, the attitudes he held, the way he took advantage of and ultimately raped a vulnerable female colleague.

There had been subtle warning signs but too many people could only see how far he'd come - a success story - they didn't want to see how far he had to go and how much discipleship and guidance he needed. It didn't help that he always was a very convincing talker.

He tried to lie his way out of the situation whilst his victim fell apart. He'd been confused ("No means No?")

The male leadership in his church took him at his word. After a perfunctory spell of "discipline" he was restored and promoted in spiritual leadership with no true acknowledgement of responsibility. He got a new job in ministry; she was left with ruins she has to rebuild through no fault of her own.

The point of this is that recently I mentioned to someone else how I was not convinced that this man should be back in a position of spiritual leadership. The Lord does forgive and restore but we have to admit what we've done and not assume we'll be returned to the same position of responsibility immediately. A treasurer who embezzles, confesses and repents will be forgiven but not necessarily given the passwords to the bank accounts straight away.

Having only heard his side of things firsthand, she said she was choosing to remain neutral.

I have heard both sides first hand, am aware of circumstances surrounding the situation and I am definitely not choosing to be neutral.

Sometimes "remaining neutral" is the same as abdicating responsibility.

Sometimes it's being a peace-keeper instead of the peace-maker Jesus tells his followers to be.

There are things that shouldn't be swept under the carpet or papered over for the sake of "keeping the peace". It takes courage and hard work to stand up and be counted. Being neutral in many cases helps neither the victim nor the perpetrator find their way to healing and true restoration but it's so much easier.

Living among the after-effects of apartheid in South Africa makes this even more apparent.

Snow in Africa

"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time" because in South Africa snow falls in August.

Snowy mountains and winter vineyards

One of our favourite Saturday activities is to walk up the hill to Bain's Cafe for chips and a beautiful view. It's a good place to sit and talk and being on the outside of hot chips seems to have some psychological benefits!

Patiently waiting for the photographer (and the chips)

The walk home

 

This was our new puppy, Joey's longest walk yet, and despite the free dog biscuits at the cafe, he spent the rest of the afternoon asleep.
 

Inheritance

When we think of inheritance we often think of material things - houses, money, jewellery, furniture.  I had an encounter today which brought home the intangible aspects of what we might inherit.

The speaker was a young Christian South African woman. Her heritage is Xhosa, though she had been sent to boarding school at four years old and brought up speaking more English and Afrikaans than her mother tongue. She'd spent time as an au pair in the USA and for a while was successful in business in Cape Town. Through circumstances not entirely her own fault (think male abuse and exploitation, physical, emotional, mental and negligent) she is now living in a "black township", bringing up her two year old daughter as a single parent, following Jesus and serving his church as best she can, once again battling exploitation and rejection.

She spoke about how much hostility she experienced from her neighbours for wanting to bring up her daughter differently. They live in the darkness of ignorance and don't want to have anyone showing it's possible to choose a different way to live. It wears her down but she's determined to continue to show Jesus' light in the darkness of her surroundings.

It is customary in Xhosa society to discipline a child by beating it. That's the way things are done.

If this woman speaks to her daughter in English (the language in which she feels most comfortable), her neighbours pour scorn upon her. If she reads to the child or engages with her there is a chorus of mocking disdain. They don't want to see anyone doing anything different.

If the child is naughty and her mother speaks to her in English, she chastises and disciplines in a "Western" way - no beatings but non-violent consequences.

If the mother speaks to the child in Xhosa she notices her language is far harsher and soon words turn into a hiding (in her case this means a smack on the hand, though for others the "hiding" is closer to a severe beating). That's how it's done; that's the inheritance; that is what the neighbours expect and welcome as it doesn't force them to consider their own actions.

God will sort it out

 

"God will sort it all out in the end."

Someone said this to me recently and I agree. I've read his book and know that he does sort out everything in the end. Evil will be destroyed, God will wipe away every tear and there will be "no more death or sorrow or crying or pain" (Revelation 21:4).

He'll sort out the problem of unfairness in life; how criminals seem to go unpunished whilst the innocent suffer; how the selfishness of some causes starvation, violence and pain for others; how we know the good we want to do but so often don't actually do it.

He has sorted it out. Now and not yet.

Now, in the sense that by dying when death had no claim on him, Jesus has broken death's hold, vanquished the powers of evil and provided a solution to all the troubles in the world.

Not yet, in the sense that although the war has been ultimately won, battles are still being played out. In our lives we are all too familiar with pain, sorrow and struggles whether we follow Jesus or not. Not yet, in the sense that God in his mercy desires to give as many people as possible the opportunity to turn to Jesus and be saved before renewing all things at the end of time.

God will sort everything out in the end but on his own terms. Terms which are extremely generous towards us but which do include certain standards. No one wants evil and injustice to go unpunished. If a crime has been committed there should be consequences.

No human has ever lived a crime-free life. Before God we have all gone astray, from the nicest good-doer to the most frustratingly selfish to the murderously corrupt. We all have to face the consequences of our lives and choices. Whether we drive two or thirty miles per hour over the speed limit the law has been broken. Whether we have envious thoughts or actually go out and rob houses, we have broken God's law and have to pay the price.

Except we can't.

That's why God sorted it all out by sending his only Son, Jesus Christ so that "whoever believes in him will not perish but will have eternal life" (John 3:16).

There's the rub.

For God to sort things out for us in the way that results in joy, restoration and eternal life in a wonderful place, we have to believe in what Jesus has done and follow him. It's not much to ask, and it's certainly more than we deserve, but it's a non-negotiable.

God will sort it all out in the end. Not in a karmic, the universe will balance it all out way, but in a deliberate, loving, intelligent manner. There will be mercy but there will also be justice. He respects us enough to give us the choice as to whether we accept the terms of his solution.

“As surely as I live, says the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of wicked people. I only want them to turn from their wicked ways so they can live. Turn! Turn from your wickedness, O people of Israel! Why should you die?” (Ezekiel 33:11)

Why indeed, when you can turn to Jesus and live?

Searching

 

The world is a beautiful and amazing place offering so many opportunities and joys.

The world is dark and scary and you don’t know how to navigate it.

How do you “do” life? Why do you have so many worries and hang-ups when everyone else seems to be perfect and have everything under control?

Except they’re not and they don’t.

You see them crash into the downward spiral that you fear might engulf you: they’re just as adrift as you are.

You search for something to anchor yourself, something to rely on that'll give you a sense of worth.

You look to other people. 

You see the sense of belonging that local gang members feel. It’s a type of family. They look out for each other; they have money, cars, clothes, drugs. It’s easy, the high life; you feel appreciated, respected. But it isn’t free, it comes at such a cost and once you’re in, getting out is not so easy. How many elderly gangsters do you see? How many tell you about the lasting damage their bodies suffer from old wounds and drug use? How many can’t sleep at night, even with a gun under their pillow? How many feel used and scared, never knowing when the youngsters in their own or rival gangs will try to kill them as a sign of strength? How many cry themselves to sleep in prison when no one can see them and none of their gang brothers cares? How many are tortured by thoughts of wasted lives and lost loved ones? How many are wearing masks of violence and anger to hide just how lost and frightened they really are?

You think, "If I only had more money I’d be all right, all my problems would disappear."

Some would. You’d be able to put food on the table, pay the rent, send your children to good schools with nice uniforms and qualified teachers. But you would be the same. You could afford to disguise and numb your feelings with alcohol, drugs, shopping, fast cars, expensive food and holidays, but the hole inside you wouldn't be filled. To the outside world you might be a success but inside you'd feel like an imposter.

Everybody needs to know who they are, what their purpose is in life and that there is hope for something better.

Some people spend all their days chasing excitement, leaping from one experience to the next, whether they’re billionaires in a space race or members of a township gang. The rush of adrenalin helps distract from the serious thoughts that threaten to make life uncomfortable.

Some live lives of very little excitement, keeping to a familiar routine where everything is known. There are no surprises and life seems under control and comfortable or at least predictable.

But life isn’t like that. It can’t be put neatly in a box, whether that box is labelled “Excitement” or “Routine”. The world we live in has been turned upside down by the choices of humanity. It’s turned upside down by selfishness, disease and war, by financial crashes and famine, and there are things from which neither money nor health can protect us.

When the things we rely on are swept away and life has lost its foundations where can we turn?

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8)

Jesus has been here from the beginning of creation. When there was nothing there was him. He’s seen it all and is familiar with all the insecurities and challenges facing us. He was there in the perfection of creation before humanity’s choices broke everything and introduced death, suffering, toil and disease into the world. He’s been with us ever since, sharing in the difficulties and pain. The gap that we so desperately try to fill is caused by the breaking of our relationship with him. We sense we’re adrift, that there should be more to life than what we make ourselves, and our souls cannot find rest until we rest in him.

Does it sound too easy, as if all your problems could be solved by starting a relationship with Jesus?

Yes and no.

You can never be the person you were meant to be until you connect with Jesus, acknowledge who he is and see yourself through his eyes in all your glory and shame. Glory because you were made in the image of God. Whether you’re a duchess or a street-sweeper, a professor or a plumber, your value in God’s eyes is the same. You reflect his glory, you’re part of his family, you should feel neither superior nor inferior to any other human being. You are of such worth that Jesus willingly died to enable a relationship with you. 

You also share the shame of being a member of the human race, the race which rejected God’s goodness and tried to steal his throne, the race which inflicted brokenness upon the whole of creation and continues to exploit and ravage it.

We cannot be properly ourselves until we realise who we were created to be, how we’ve lost that and how Jesus has provided a way to regain our true humanity. Some people spend the whole of their lives searching and never fill the gap, never commit. They may spend their lives “doing good”, attempting to work their way to satisfaction but discover that nothing’s enough, there’s always more to do, they can never be good enough. Others sign up to a stunted relationship with God, full of laws and “do nots” which they in turn try to impose on others to make themselves feel better. Others simply deny his existence, or live in a way that suggests that.

Jesus came so that we “may have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

There are expectations when you acknowledge Jesus as the Lord and Saviour he is, but they are the expectations which enable you to live life to its fullest. They are not cramping and enslaving but freeing and life-giving. You’re released from the need to find your worth in others’ opinions as you know that the King of the universe loves, has chosen and has died for you. You: whoever you are, whatever you’ve done or not done, however other people have judged you: he wants you.

Jesus doesn’t need you, he chooses you. He chooses to involve you in his work in the world. He chooses to work with you to turn you into the best you you can be; the one he knows is there underneath all your imperfections and wrong-doings.

Jesus fills the gap in your life and when you realise that you can face anything. He promises, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20); even in the face of the difficulties he doesn’t promise will disappear in this life.

Rejoice and trust in him.

Be set free and find your anchor.

 

Peat

 Should followers of Jesus be like peat?

Brought to usefulness by the death of the old plant. Can be used to nurture and aid the growth of other plants. When necessary can be set alight, burning to create warmth and heat in situations of darkness and cold.

Shiny happy people

 I recently received an invitation to an online women's event. It's billed as a time of uplifting, encouragement and empowering for Christian women and I'm sure that many will emerge from it feeling all those things but I'm naturally suspicious and slightly cynical. I always do a bit of research on any speaker, especially if quiet warning bells are ringing. I want to give them a chance as I'm aware that my personal and cultural biases can influence me against certain styles, though the content may be sound, so I try to find out what I can about their background.

I discovered the church in America which this speaker co-pastors with her husband, a campus church with hundreds of attendees. I looked at the photos they posted and their statement of beliefs but what struck me most was the appearance of those they'd chosen to publicise.

The church has a good racial mixture but all the photos showed shiny happy, mainly young or in the prime of life, well-dressed people who all had a similar look. Nobody who looked a bit odd, old or falling apart was pictured. There was a scary perfection that would be difficult to live up to. Of course you mustn't judge a book by its cover, or a church by the photos it chooses to post. Or should you? Perhaps the image a church projects is a reflection of how they see Jesus and the sort of people he wants his followers to be.

Jesus' original disciples were a motley crew, and we still are. One of the most welcoming things in a community of believers is the variety of backgrounds, appearances, characters, abilities, fashion sense (or lack of) - all of us knowing we're sinners in need of a Saviour, and all knowing we're here to love and help each other in the journey of becoming more like him. If this aspect isn't reflected in the image a particular church chooses to project then I think warning bells may be justified.

Jesus does transform people from the odd, old and falling apart into the "us" he intended us to be but that's often so different from how we see "perfection " with our human eyes. Besides which, the process isn't completed in this life. We do improve the more we surrender to him but perfection is only achieved when we see him face to face after our time on earth is over. If anyone is scared away from learning about Jesus because they feel they don't fit with the church's image then that church should re-examine its values.

Incarceration

Tuesday is prison day.

I don't go into prison expecting to be the "spiritual worker" who brings succour and elucidation to the men in a God-forsaken land. I go in anticipation, to learn what wonderful things God is already doing there and marvel at how the words he gives me fit so well with the lessons he's already teaching.

This afternoon I spent some time with Edwin who'll be released on parole on Monday. It's always a mark of spiritual maturity when a man can acknowledge that his time in prison was God responding to his prayer to be rescued from a life out of control. Some men can say that they're glad they're in prison: if they'd been free they'd probably be dead. They recognise and appreciate the lessons God's taught them, the time they've been given away from the freneticism of life to develop their relationship with him, and then to be released to a second chance of restoring family relationships.

Some are so grateful and determined not to waste their new life. 

What a shame that so many of us, the unincarcerated, continue scraping (exploding/self-destructing/sleep-walking) by and never ask for another chance.