Death

 On Tuesday afternoon we had to have our dog put to sleep.

Death is a strange thing. The fact we react so strongly against it hints at what an aberration it is. Death wasn't in the original plan of Creation. There wasn't supposed to be any death, any sickness, any pain. We were supposed to live in complete harmony with our Creator for eternity, without fear, in complete harmony and joy. 

Humanity's rebellion against God changed all that. We want to do things our way, seize control of the steering wheel, even though we don't know how to drive. As C S Lewis wrote, death is a severe mercy; it brings to an end the destructive tendencies which wreak such havoc in our lives and societies but is the cause of so much pain. The ripping separation that is death does call a halt to the pain and suffering we can experience in life but also causes so much pain to those who remain. For those who choose to follow Jesus death brings us to an unmitigated communion with him - no more tears or sadness or suffering. To those who have chosen not to follow Jesus in earthly life their choice is respected and after death all they experience is a terrifying and excruciating existence without him. Thank God that he is so loving and eager for a relationship with us that all it takes is our heartfelt consent and acknowledgement of Jesus to set us right with him.

How does this apply to my much loved dog?

Love is what lasts. God's love for us and our love for others.

Merlot was special in his own quiet way. He left his mark, as the tearful reactions of our dog-walking acquaintances show. I am thankful that one day he was running and rolling in the long grass. The next morning his back legs were paralysed and we knew. I am thankful that the decision was so clear cut. No what ifs...? Should we wait a while and see....? No gradual decline. Even the vet said if Merlot were his dog he would choose euthanasia.

It's interesting that the little dog I'd brought home from the SPCA as a companion to Merlot is, in his own way, trying to grow into Merlot's footsteps. There has been a definite development of maturity in the last few days.

Death is painful and it should be.

Perhaps it's fitting that Merlot's death happened at Easter time when Jesus conquered death once and for all and was raised to life to prove it.

Merlot

Merlot and Sam

Upstanding Sunday

 I often drive past the large Dutch Reformed Church (the Moderkerk) in Wellington, frequently having to wait for the traffic lights to change. While I sit there I like to work out the Afrikaans on their notice board. They're very good at putting details about services and preachers on display early in the week. At the moment I'm really taken by the word for Easter Sunday - Opstandung Sondag - Resurrection Sunday. It tells you more about what we're celebrating than the word "easter" with all its pagan connotations - the resurrection of Jesus after his amazing sacrifice of life for our sake.

Opstandung also sounds so much like Upstanding. I like that too. Jesus stood up from death and left it behind, defeated. As his followers we need to stand up and be counted for him in life, words and rejoicing that we've been freed from the need to fear death ourselves.

It's simple but it's wonderful.

Wellington Moderkerk

Recognition

 I read an extract from Milton's "Paradise Lost" today. The angel who encountered Satan could not recognise in him the glorious Lucifer, bright morning star, that he had been before his rebellion against God and fall into evil.

It made me think of how a man I first met in a Maximum prison has experienced the same reaction but for the opposite reason.

He was a gangster from the age of thirteen, involved in drugs, prostitution, murder, full of hatred and bitterness, the epitome of the fallen Lucifer.

He was in and out of the prison system, from juvenile to adult, always involved in gangsterism until he encountered Jesus whilst serving his latest sentence in Maximum. 

That meeting completely turned his life upside down.

The first time his mother came to visit after he'd committed his life to Jesus she walked right past him, not recognising her changed son. 

Recently he's been moved from Maximum to Medium. Men from his past who knew him as the gangster lord on the outside and who'd been in and out of prison during his present sentence, didn't recognise him, he's changed so much.

Today his concern is how best to serve Jesus, to live and speak the gospel to those who are still living the life he once knew so well.

It could feel insulting if old "friends" and definitely if your mother walked past without recognising you but what a wonderful reason if it's because you once resembled Satan but now reflect Jesus.

Regular or Consistent?

 I met someone new last week. A single mum who had drifted away from her faith for several years, been badly hurt by experiences in churches but in the last few months has been revelling in a glorious reconnection with God, a renewing of relationship of love, challenge and growth.

She told me how much she values regularity, how she doesn't like to do anything she'd consider out of character but how living with Jesus brings the unexpected. 

God doesn't do things in a "regular" manner but he is consistent.

Some people talk as if the God revealed in the Old Testament is very different from the God revealed by Jesus in the New Testament. That isn't the case. God, from Genesis to Revelation to 2021, is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. His messages of love to rebellious humanity, his sorrow at our wilful decisions to do life our way not his, his appeals to turn to him (for why do we choose the way of death when abundant life is freely offered?) are the same throughout. Have a look in the Bible, it's very striking. The experience of millions of believers in the centuries since also bears witness that God does not change. I can read poems written by Christians hundreds of years ago and know that they follow the same Jesus I do.

"I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." (Hosea 6:6 NLT)

Regularity, routine, rules/customs, prescribed behaviours or sacrifices can all provide a sense of security. We know where we are, what we have to do, what to expect. 

Life isn't like that. 

If anyone had been in any doubt, the events since the explosion of covid19 into the world should have proved that what a society considers normal can be turned upside down with frightening speed. It's only God that doesn't change.

That doesn't mean he's predictable: how can our finite minds predict the infinite workings of his? He will always act according to his character - holy, loving, just, good, merciful, trustworthy, all-knowing - but will often act in ways we could never imagine. Most believers can recall times when a seemingly unsolvable problem has been solved in a way so simply elegant and amazing or so involved and amazing that without knowing God's hand was behind it it would have seemed incredible. Allowing God to be in the driving seat of your life opens the way to the most amazing experiences in the most unexpected places with people you'd never have expected to meet: he's always consistent; never regular.

What's the point?

"What's the point of loving God? Or praying to God? Or going to church? Or trying to follow God's commands?"

 This was a question that came up on a blog I read (http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/) and it's a good one. What is the point?

 It just so happens that I've spent the better part of today in prison, leading Bible studies with men incarcerated in Maximum and Medium security. Of all people you could say that they've experienced life at its rawest, they've seen (and caused) death and hideous abuse. They have no stake in the riches of society but have torn at its fabric to extract benefits for themselves. They have been caught and are paying the penalty society demands.

The words of this question didn't come up in the Bible study I led on "Don't look back - A new start", but the answer did.

One of the men in Maximum pointed out that we're all going to die, it's an inescapable consequence of the rebellion of humanity against God. He knows that to die without knowing Jesus, to be left to face the Judgement alone (if we've chosen to live without Jesus) is a prospect too awful for words.

The point of loving God is that life without him is too terrible and hopeless to imagine (especially if you've experienced it in part), though too many people live in that hopelessness, fear and uncertainty. Belief is not a crutch to see you through. Reading the Bible, knowing God, makes sense of the world we live in, and offers (never forces) a solution.

Broken

 In prison ministry we talk a lot about the brokenness of the world and the people in it. 

We are all broken in some way, that is true and is clearly seen in the violence, pain and struggle of life. Hurting, broken people hurt others.

Sometimes we need to take a step beyond this thought so brokenness doesn't become an excuse for what we do towards others.

We are broken, the world is broken because it is fallen. Because of rebellion, the self-centred, selfish desire to do things our way, not God's, we have fallen from the lives of perfect harmony we were created to live. 

The fall broke us.

God does not break us: other people, ourselves, their choices, our choices, these are the things that break us.

God heals and binds together.

If we let him.

Living by ear

 

We need to play life by ear, feeling the notes, sensing them and following the melody, God's melody; not expecting to have everything scored for us to follow dogmatically. We need to be living in his key, matching our pitch to his. 

 

Instead, most of the time, we're singing and playing out of tune.

The amazing song of creation with its intricately twirling harmonies, resonating base notes and sublime beauty has been rendered discordant by the grasping behaviour of humanity. Instead of rejoicing in relationship, with God, with each other, with all living creatures, we have broken strings, blocked pipes and crashed chords. We look for what we can get, and take it if it's not offered, instead of freely and generously enjoying the relationships we were created to have.

It's all there in Genesis but the same story is played out through the centuries. The cast changes but the characters and plots remain the same. 

 

The only way to break the cycle, to bring the choir and orchestra back together under its conductor, is to keep our eyes on Jesus. He's the only one able truly to reconcile the seemingly disparate, the conductor who can hold all different instruments in harmony.

Are we nearly there yet?

 

Where is "there"?

 

Often we're so concerned about arriving that we forget that God is more interested in how we approach the destination than whether we actually fulfil all the goals we set ourselves.

 

I want to be successful. I want to be loved. I want to be attractive. I want to be rich/fulfilled/famous/accepted.

 

What does God want from us?

 

He wants obedience. He wants a humble and contrite heart. He wants us to live according to his standards, not the expectations of the world. 

 

He doesn't want outward compliance, religious rituals, fasting, "right talk".

 

He wants our hearts. He wants who we are because he knows who we could be.

He's ready to help us if we ask.

“Are we nearly there yet?” No parent who's taken their children on a journey will fail to recognise that question. 

“When I’m there things will be different. I’ll be more confident/successful/liked. When I’m there my life will be more fulfilled. I’ll be a better person when I’m there.” 

No person who's ever been dissatisfied with the way their life is turning out will fail to recognise those statements.

We’re so eager to get there that often we don't care how we do it or how many lessons we miss on our relentless pursuit of the journey's end.

Running away from our issues doesn't work. We may escape them for a while in a new environment but they will catch us up. The only way to be free is to face them head on, preferably with the help of Jesus who doesn't say he'll help us escape from our actions but promises that he'll be with us as we face their consequences. Facing up to difficulties alone is daunting. Facing them with a friend, "lowly and meek, yet all powerful", makes a huge difference.

Are we nearly there yet?

The experiences and restrictions of the past year have drastically changed the background to that question for many. What was once thought reliable has proven to be ephemeral. The only thing that hasn't changed is Jesus and his promises. "I will be with you always", through everything life can throw at you and even into the world beyond.

Don't worry about the things in life that change so easily. Trust in Jesus. "Are we nearly there yet?" takes on a whole new dimension when you're asking the Son of God.

Where is "there"?

"There" is God.

Pre-conceptions

 In pre-covid days, when it was still allowed, I invited a co-worker and her son to visit us for lunch. A couple of things she said struck me. "Your husband isn't at all what I expected" and "Am I how you expected me to be?"

I didn't know how to answer the second comment (the first was her problem). I don't tend to form pre-conceived ideas of what people should be. I meet them and my opinion is formed by who they are, how they behave, their attitudes and conversation.

 Isn't this how it should be?

See each person as an individual. Beneath colour, nationality, gender, culture, we are all human.

If you read secular classical literature from centuries ago, across time and culture basic human nature hasn't changed.

If you live in the developing world (Papua New Guinea, Africa) where technological developments often haven't reached the wider population, human nature is the same.

If you read the Bible from the Old Testament written centuries ago to the New (only a couple of thousand years old) human nature is the same and the reason for that is explained.

It's the height of arrogance to judge people because of their geography, era, race or culture and be blind to who they are as individuals, complete with good and bad characteristics.

See each person for who he or she is. Pray that you'll see them as God does, with compassion, as a unique individual loved by him, with more potential than most ever realise, more blindness than many seek to have cured and, if they choose, the right to become adopted as a child of God.

Jesus is the harmony that runs through all creation.

He is the one who unites all our disparate voices, draws in each one from its isolation and helps it to find its own place in the great song.

Without his loving input we are merely discordant noise, each for himself, desperately trying not to end up alone, never truly satisfying the yearning to belong, however confident we appear on the outside.

Without him we can never truly be ourselves, free in the knowledge that our uniqueness is valued by the God who sees what we are and knows what we could be and loves us anyway.

Without him we can be tempted to dampen our life's song, to try to be just like everyone else, to conform to the fears and insecurities of the world.

With him our voices can rise entwined together, individual yet combined, in a song more beautiful than any of us could imagine alone.

Second Chances

 I'd hoped I'd be able to write this post as someone who'd been able to give an abandoned dog a second chance. Unfortunately in this world things don't always work out as we hope they will. I wrote the paragraph below the morning we brought Sam home, when we thought the damage that had been done to him was reparable. Despite the love, patience and understanding we showed, he attacked me three times, biting pre-emptively as events in our home triggered memories of being mistreated previously. We realised we weren't equipped to help him and had to return him to the SPCA for his and our safety.

 

Our experience with Sam doesn't negate the fact that we are given so many chances by God, despite the fact that our behaviour towards him is often not that different from that of an enraged and aggressive spaniel. Sam's problems were the result of human  mistreatment. Our own problems are also the result of human mistreatment and bad choices, our own and those of other people.

 

God is a God of second, third, fourth, so many chances, until the one we die with is the one he finally underlines.

We had hoped that love and patience would have been enough to redeem Sam. We were wrong, his problems needed far deeper treatment.

Our problems need deeper treatment. Without knowledge of and surrender to Jesus' healing, the problems of our world and our lives will never be healed.

 

God gives us many chances to come to him and be healed. Are self-centredness, fear, stubborness, pride preventing you from approaching him before it's too late?

 

Love will heal all in the end, but only the love of Jesus and only if we take the step to accept it.

2020

What did you think of 2020?

 I was looking at our last newsletter which went out in January 2020. After describing how he had visited quite a few African countries for NetACT in 2019, one of the lines was “Fraser’s hoping not to travel so much in 2020” – a hope that certainly came true but not in the way he expected. At times in 2020 we weren’t allowed to visit our church in Wellington, never mind cross international borders. Throughout most of my life, but especially since going overseas for God, the phrase that Christians are “foreigners and strangers on earth” (Hebrews 11:13 NIV) has resonated. When you’re a foreigner and a wanderer wherever you happen to be living (whether that’s your passport country or far away), when you’re never quite marching to the same drumbeat as everyone else, you learn what’s important, what or who can be relied upon in any circumstances, the things that will last. It’s people that matter; relationships, love. The wealthy may have gone through lockdown in more comfort but their money couldn’t take away the fear of the disease or the pain of being separated from loved ones.

 I have learned from experience that wherever I am, “nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39).

 In 2020 the structures that many people relied on were taken away. A structure has to be built on solid foundations if it is to survive. Once every child was familiar with Jesus’ story of the man who built his house upon a rock. This man took the time to dig good foundations and to make sure his building would be able to withstand whatever was thrown at it. Another man was impatient. He wanted to do things his way and get his house built fast and easily. He didn’t see the need for foundations, advice nor a solid base, but built his house on sandy ground. For a while it looked good but as soon as the storms came his house totally collapsed (Matthew 7:24-27).

When I was an undergraduate reading English and Classics, I came across a quote which I now have to paraphrase but it said something like, the surety of your anchor determines how far you can roam (I think it was from Leslie Stephen, father of Virginia Woolf). When your anchor is firmly attached to the rock, the stronghold which is Jesus Christ, then you can roam much further and with more confidence that he will hold you, then those who feel that the least stress will disconnect and set them adrift. You don’t have to cling to possessions or rituals, fashions or traditions to make you feel safe. You don’t have to worry (though you do share the pain of those who suffer) if the norms of your society are taken away. You don't have to fear death because you are attached to the only one who has experienced and conquered it.

 I pray for everyone in whichever country and for whatever reason who feels that their world has collapsed and doesn’t know how life will ever get back to “normal”. I went through covid19 (it took months to recover) so I do not underestimate the impact of the virus but some things are more important than physical health. We are created to be in relationships – with God and each other. One of the most pernicious effects of the reaction to this virus is the way that relationships have been severed. No one should have to die alone when there are friends and family members longing to be there and give comfort. No one should be isolated from human contact through fear. Yes, we need to take precautions - wash hands, sanitise, wear a mask, keep a 1.5 metres apart etc (or whatever the rules are in your country) – but life is more than trying to avoid death by covid19. An inescapable fact of life is that we are all going to die. The most important question is not of what or when that will be, but what will happen afterwards.

 One of the many amazing things about Jesus is that he doesn’t force himself upon us (unlike, I’m sorry to say, many of his followers). If you choose to live your life without him, in this world you’ll never “have life to the full” and in the world after death your choice will be respected and you’ll continue to exist without him. The trouble is that this will be an existence you will long to have come to an end but it never shall. An existence without God (Jesus) after death will be an existence without love, light, happiness, friendship: all the things we enjoy on earth are reflections of God. Before death he graciously shares them with everyone. After death our choice to follow Jesus or not will be ratified. There will be no parties in hell. Only darkness, desolation and selfishness, each individual wanting to impose his way. Think of the most selfishly run business, the most corrupt and oppressive country, the greediest and most hateful person you know being in charge of your life and wanting to make everyone as miserable and full of pain as he is: that is life after death without God. All the parties going on will be in God's house.

 I’ve got a bit carried away from my initial thoughts but let’s end this post with hope.

 It’s not the unintelligent and gullible who follow Jesus (I have a degree from Oxford University; Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament letters, was highly educated and extremely intelligent; Peter who wrote other parts of the New Testament was a simple fisherman - God sees through our backgrounds into our hearts). What is needed is an open mind. How open is yours to all ideas except the consideration of what the Bible actually says? Isn’t it a bit odd if everything, all other religions and philosophies are worthy of respectful consideration except what Jesus says in the Bible? Ask yourself why that’s the case. Are you scared you might have to change if you read the Bible for yourself and realise that what it says is true?

 Jesus gives us all a chance to build our lives on solid foundations. He doesn’t promise that when we choose him all our problems will disappear and life will be easy. In fact he says the opposite, that his followers should not be surprised by suffering (John 15:20) but he does promise to be with us through everything (Matthew 28:20) and that includes covid19, death, life and lockdown. Jesus offers us life untramelled (John 10:10) and for free (though it doesn't come cheap). Sometimes it's a bit of a rollercoaster but once you accept Jesus' invitation to ride with him you don't regret it; in this world or the next.

Have you seen a gangster cry?

 Have you seen a gangster cry?

It happens regularly when Hope Prison Ministry facilitates the Restorative Justice process. Men who have murdered, raped, tortured others are reduced to tears when confronted with the reality of the damage they've caused. Even for senior members of the feared prison gangs, when the walls of self-centredness, the protective barriers of lack of feeling, anger, violence, entitlement are broken down they have to face themselves and their deeds and they weep.

That marks the start of something new.

Most of the men don't like the lives they live. They've been abused and they abuse in their turn; they feel deprived and they deprive others of goods, peace, life, but they long for something better. The tragedy is they often don't know how to get it. 

Restorative Justice is a start. It helps them to see where they've come from, the mess they've caused and dragged others into and the changes they have to make in themselves in order to be the men they were created to be. It offers support and encouragement in the successes and failures but most of all it offers hope. We can all try to change in our own strength and the Restorative Justice process is open to all religions and none, but without God's help change does not go deep enough. 

We see miracles in every course. Men breaking down as their mothers talk of love, hurt and despair. Men deciding to take responsibility after decades and admitting that they were actually guilty of the crime they'd been sentenced for. Men restoring relationships and determining to be better sons, husbands and fathers; this time with more than just empty promises.

2020 has been difficult as the prisons in South Africa were closed to visitors but wherever one door closes....  If we couldn't offer Restorative Justice to inmates then we could run a course for those released on parole. That brought its own challenges, not least that our participants were no longer a "captive audience", but as usual God did amazing things in the lives of the men who came. By the second day one man had decided to return the goods he'd stolen from his neighbour and to apologise to her. The same day another man resolved to tell his mother the truth after thirteen years of lies - he had been guilty, although he'd always claimed innocence. On the final day another man brought a bag of mobile phones he'd stolen from people on a train before he'd been caught and imprisoned. He wanted to make amends and return them, he didn't want anything from his former life holding him back as he tried to change. Other men were having to resist the invitations of old gang colleagues coming regularly to their homes to entice them back into drugs and crime. 

The men admitted these challenges and were open about the temptations they face daily. When we do the process in prisons there's a certain amount of unrealistic thinking. They have ideas about what life will be like outside and how they'll fit in. Men on parole are actually facing the real issues. 

Our first Community Restorative Justice in Paarl in November will hopefully not be our last. Certainly we want the restrictions to ease so we can get back to ministering to those in prison but the need definitely doesn't end there.